Title: I Dont Recognize Myself
Size: 46 x 60 cm Medium: Oil paint on canvas Completion: May 2022 - Exhibition Text-'I Dont Recognize Myself Anymore' is a self-made 46 x 60 cm painting using oil on canvas. The piece is inspred by the face-distortion art of contemporary artist Henrietta Harris. It is meant to take aspects of Harris' concept along with her realism and combine it with my own experience with body dismorphia and not being able to recognize your own face when you look in the mirror.
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- Inspiration -
Artist in Focus: Henrietta Harris
Henrietta Harris is a contemporary artist that works in several different mediums, including colored pencils, oil paints, water color, and ink. The collection of hers that I wanted to focus on was a series of oil paintings that depicted people with their face being distorted in some way. The distortion was often depicted with an almost photo-shop look to it. Henrietta paints in a realistic style, with a twist onto a regular portrait. The distortion often warps, blurring, or added layers with different opacities. While Harris does not explain the meaning behind her distortion portraits, I interpreted them to explore the feeling of not being yourself, of being somewhere else mentally, or having another side to you that others don't see. With some of her other distortion works, like the one below, I saw someone who struggles with body image and body dysmorphia. This is the same message I wanted to convey in my own artwork.
Henrietta Harris is a contemporary artist that works in several different mediums, including colored pencils, oil paints, water color, and ink. The collection of hers that I wanted to focus on was a series of oil paintings that depicted people with their face being distorted in some way. The distortion was often depicted with an almost photo-shop look to it. Henrietta paints in a realistic style, with a twist onto a regular portrait. The distortion often warps, blurring, or added layers with different opacities. While Harris does not explain the meaning behind her distortion portraits, I interpreted them to explore the feeling of not being yourself, of being somewhere else mentally, or having another side to you that others don't see. With some of her other distortion works, like the one below, I saw someone who struggles with body image and body dysmorphia. This is the same message I wanted to convey in my own artwork.
Harris' realistic portraits feature a soft lighting, using lighter colors with completely solid color backgrounds. One of the things that the artist excels in is in realistic textures. The texture of the skin is smooth, but with small imperfections like acne and other marks that give it a real look to it. The same applies to the hair, that can have split ends, tangles, and not be completely tame and picture perfect. This is something that I want to work on in my own piece- realism in details, and portraying people in a way that depicts them including their imperfections. Alongside details in hair and skin, the clothing seen in Harris' work was very realistic, with loose-fits and realistically shaded folds and crevices. While clothing is something I do want to work on more in the future, it will not be as much of a focus for me in this piece. The main thing I want to take away from Henrietta Harris' work is her face distortion, and realism in texture.
- Process -
After completing my planning sketches, I assembled and stretched my own canvas. I stapled together wood pieces to create a rectangle with 90 degree angles, and stretched canvas cloth over my frame. I added an extra beam in the center to give it extra support. I stapled the ends down so that it was tight, but not too tight, and folded the edges underneath. After that, I applied a layer of gesso to my canvas, let it dry, and reapplied once more to give myself a smooth surface to sketch and paint on.
My next step was to take reference photos and edit them. Unlike the lighting in most Henrietta Harris works, it was straight-on and slightly less natural. When posing for the picture, I wanted to look panicked and scared, with my hands over my face like I'm trying to hold it in place gently. I decided to put my hair up to make it less of a priority when painting, and because it might interfere with the goopiness of the liquid running down my hands. I then edited the photo in Lightroom, adjusting things like the contrast, saturation, and brightness, to make shadows deeper, and highlights pop on my painting.
For this painting, I decided to use the grid method to transfer my photograph onto my canvas as a sketch. While doing this, I accidentally moved the left hand higher than It should have been on the canvas, and this messed with my proportions. After transferring everything down onto my canvas as it appeared in the picture, I added my own touches to make my art more easily comparable to the work of Henrietta Harris. Instead of the face warping to the side or blurring like in the paintings seen in my inspiration, I wanted it to be melting down into the hands and running down the arms, so that the subject in the portrait was not only aware of the distortion occurring, but interacting with it, as a connection to the feeling of body dysmorphia.
With my sketch completed, I moved on to painting the skin. I mixed peach, dark brown, red, and white paint to make my own skin tones. I started by painting the corners and the darkest edges of the figure first and worked my way out with lighter colors. I started with painting the bicep, then moved on to the forearm, the hands, and then the chest. Since the lighting for this piece is straight-on, the highlights all appear in the center of a shape and the darkest parts are in the corners and outlines. For the hand, I blocked in basic shapes to give me an idea of where everything should be located, then I went back in with a different brush to blend, and I added details on the knuckles and added the nails.
With the skin of the body completed, I began to work on the face. I started on the left side of the face (to avoid setting my hand in wet paint while working) with the darkest shades and added white and peach to make my color lighter. I really struggled with the positioning of the eyes, especially because while doing my sketch, I made a mistake on the placement of a hand and it messed up the grid, so I had to draw on the facial features freehand. I made the areas around the fingers on the right hand darker, to show that they are pressing into the skin. i added lines around the eyes to give the appearance of eye-bags and give the subject of the portrait a tired, worn expression.
The other facial features were tricky because they would have to maintain their basic shape while also dripping down the face. I wanted Harrisons' idea of face distortion mixed with my own theme of body dysmorphia, and so the subject would be interacting with the features dripping down the face. I started by painting the whites of the eyes and drawing the brush down the face naturally, with a thick glob of paint to give the look of goo running downwards. After the whites of the eyes, I moved on to the iris. My eyes are green, so I mixed green, blue, and brown to give a more toned-down look. I painted the edges of the eyes and the top shadow first, and then mixed a lighter color to color in the middle of the eyes. I used this color to drip down with the white of the eyes. I took the same approach with the lips, where I blocked in basic color shapes first, went back in with shadows and highlights, then added the drop effect down the chin.
With the skin done, I painted the background brown with a gradient. I started with a slightly lighter brown in the center and worked my way out with a darker shade. I did this with acrylic paint for the purpose if it drying faster so I could move on to the hair. For the hair, I started by blocking in the shadows with a deep brown oil paint, around the top of the scalp and by the edges. I then used a warm brown to fill in the rest of the hair. After this had dried I mixed a lighter yellow-brown and got a very very thin brush to do highlights. I applied the highlights on the center of the parted hair, and then used the thin brush to add fly-away hairs that gave the subject a more disheveled and messy look. I then added bangs onto the the hair with the warm brown paint. After the hair I painted the very last part, which was the top of the subject. I blocked it in with a very dark red and then added slight highlights around the chest and the seams of the clothing. I decided to make one strap falling down the shoulder to further make the subject appear messy and upset.
- Critique -
Similiarities include:
- the concept of face distortion. Both pieces alter the human face in an unnatural way, creating an uneasy feeling in the viewer by taking something we see every day and adding a new perspective to it.
- realism. Both pieces use realistic shading and highlights to portray their desired effect as if someone was hallucinating it rather than feeling more illustrated or childish.
- minimalist background. The empty background of both mine and Harris' work places emphasis on the subject and the distortion of the face.
- the concept of face distortion. Both pieces alter the human face in an unnatural way, creating an uneasy feeling in the viewer by taking something we see every day and adding a new perspective to it.
- realism. Both pieces use realistic shading and highlights to portray their desired effect as if someone was hallucinating it rather than feeling more illustrated or childish.
- minimalist background. The empty background of both mine and Harris' work places emphasis on the subject and the distortion of the face.
Differences include:
- color palette. The colors used in Harris' work are much lighter and colorful. She uses a pastel background to draw attention to the subject while I use a dark brown to make the subject pop in a more dark and upsetting way.
- lighting. The lighting in my piece is much more head-on and unnatural, and makes the viewer focus primarily on the subject. The lighting in Harris' work feels very natural and candid.
- message. While Henrietta Harris has no description of the meaning behind her work published anywhere, my piece is very specifically about the feeling of body dysmophia.
- color palette. The colors used in Harris' work are much lighter and colorful. She uses a pastel background to draw attention to the subject while I use a dark brown to make the subject pop in a more dark and upsetting way.
- lighting. The lighting in my piece is much more head-on and unnatural, and makes the viewer focus primarily on the subject. The lighting in Harris' work feels very natural and candid.
- message. While Henrietta Harris has no description of the meaning behind her work published anywhere, my piece is very specifically about the feeling of body dysmophia.
- Reflection -
While this is not my favorite piece, I am definitely proud of it. I think it shows what I need to work on, including realism in lighting and in skin, and facial proportions. It also shows how I could improve on painting hair. The best part of this painting, in my opinion, is the hands. The shading looks nice and the small details make it look realistic and proportionate. While working on this painting, I think I got a little bit better at realism and my shading skills. I was inspired mostly by the visual effect of Harris' work, which lead me to apply my own experiences to it.
- ACT Connections -
1) Clearly explain how you were able to identify the cause effect relationship between your inspiration and its effect on your art?
My inspiration for this piece was Henrietta Harris, who is a contemporary artist. She used traditional realistic painting techniques and applied them to modern ideas and concepts, like face distortion. I used the same process to create my own artwork.
2) What is the overall approach the author has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
Because Henrietta Harris is a contemporary artist without much writing on her or her works, her approach to the topic of her inspiration is unknown.
3) What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
While researching different portrait techniques I discovered a few different styles of art and saw a few things I would want to try with portraits in the future. These included different mediums and other ways people make distortion and illusion art.
4) What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
In my research I initially looked for different portrayals of eating disorders and what it feels like to live with one through art specifically in painting medium. I saw a lot of distortion art and I started to look at artists who made similar art, despite not having a connection to eating disorders and body dysmorphia outright.
My inspiration for this piece was Henrietta Harris, who is a contemporary artist. She used traditional realistic painting techniques and applied them to modern ideas and concepts, like face distortion. I used the same process to create my own artwork.
2) What is the overall approach the author has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
Because Henrietta Harris is a contemporary artist without much writing on her or her works, her approach to the topic of her inspiration is unknown.
3) What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
While researching different portrait techniques I discovered a few different styles of art and saw a few things I would want to try with portraits in the future. These included different mediums and other ways people make distortion and illusion art.
4) What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
In my research I initially looked for different portrayals of eating disorders and what it feels like to live with one through art specifically in painting medium. I saw a lot of distortion art and I started to look at artists who made similar art, despite not having a connection to eating disorders and body dysmorphia outright.
- Citations -
Henrietta Harris, The Event Itself, Oil on canvas, 2021
Henrietta Harris, Untitled, Oil on Canvas, 2021
Henrietta Harris, Untitled, Oil on Canvas, 2021